areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
