Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
