wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize