and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
soo... how was my night?
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