The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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