new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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