OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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