I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize