You really coming over, don't trick.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
