I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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