Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
