i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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