I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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