He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
