is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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