If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
