you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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