and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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