Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
