I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
