some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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