Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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