I cannot find my penis.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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