I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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