My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
