He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize