if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
