Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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