you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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