there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
