Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
