We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
