Can Purell be used as lube?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
