Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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