doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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