i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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