I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
