Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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