3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
