they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
