Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
