I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
