discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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