i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
