If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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