I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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