remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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