I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
