I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
