So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
