when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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