I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Actions speak louder than pants.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This is my gift to your gina
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
