i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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