u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
