I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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