You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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