I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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