....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize