did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
